


Never giving up

by Karin1232



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cancer, I don't even know what's that, M/M, Sad, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-08
Updated: 2013-06-08
Packaged: 2017-12-14 07:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/834505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karin1232/pseuds/Karin1232
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were known as the perfect family. Louis and Zayn had three perfect sons. Liam (10), Niall (7) and Harry (4) were their sunshines but what happened when Harry got sick with Leukemia?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never giving up

In everyone’s eyes they were seen as the perfect family and Louis had to admit that they were. He had everything he could wish for. He had a beautiful husband called Zayn and three amazing kids called Liam, Niall and Harry. 

Liam was the oldest at the age of ten, Niall was seven years old and Harry their youngest was four years old. They lived in a beautiful house a little bit outside of London and Louis knew that he was lucky to have a family like this.

He and Zayn had been married for nearly 15 years now and one day they had decided to adopt a child. Liam had only been four weeks old and his mother had been too young to take care of him. She had been stressed and had known that she wasn’t the right person to look after a baby and that Liam deserved a better life so she had let him at an orphanage.

The first few days with Liam had been very hard for both of the dads because they hadn’t known a lot about kids. Yes, they both had younger siblings but taking care of them for a few hours was different than raising a child and taking care of it the whole time.

They had fought and had been stressed and Louis had already thought about getting a divorce but he hadn’t been ready to do this. He loved Zayn and he loved his son so they had tried to make everything work and it had.

Three years after adopting Liam, Zayn had wanted to adopt another child and Louis had agreed within seconds. He had also wanted a second child and so they had driven to the orphanage again.

Little Niall Horan had been the lucky baby to be adopted. Niall had been six weeks old and he had a familiar story than Liam. His parents had been too young and so they had decided it was for the best. The baby had blonde hair and blue eyes and had looked like an angel. And so Niall James Horan became Niall James Tomlinson and had been a full part of the family ever since.

The years had passed by and they had had their ups and downs but the kids always made sure to show them what they had.

Whenever Niall laughed the whole room lit up and Liam was one of the most caring people in the world always making sure that his brother and his parents were alright.

However three years after adopting Niall, Louis and Zayn had decided to adopt one more child. They had decided that it was going to be their last one and after another drive to the orphanage they had become parents of a two weeks old baby called Harry.

Harry had those amazing brown curls and emerald green eyes and they both had fallen in love with him when they had seen the baby for the first time.

* 

Taking care of three kids wasn’t easy and Louis sometimes longed for a break. He wanted to go back on holiday just with his husband like they used to years ago.

 

Liam was ten years old and in fourth grade. He was an intelligent and ambitious kid who always got good grades and made his father’s proud. Liam was always playing in the soccer team and he was doing a good job at it.

Niall was in first grade and was currently learning how to write and read. He tried really hard but still had a few problems figuring out the right words and after a talk to a doctor they found out that Niall had dyslexia. 

It wasn’t a problem for Zayn or Louis it just meant that they had to work with Niall on writing and reading. 

Little Harry was the sunshine of the family. He loved to cuddle with everyone and seeing him smile made everyone happy. Liam and Niall also loved their brother and always played with him and Niall also read to him because he knew that Harry wouldn’t mind if he read a little bit slower or if he made mistakes.

Harry was a bundle of joy and Louis knew that he had a perfect life with a perfect family.

*

The beeping sound of their alarm clock was what woke up Louis and Zayn one morning. 

Zayn groaned and hid his face in his pillow but Louis always made sure that he got up because he knew that Zayn would fall asleep again.

“Babe come on I need you to make breakfast. It’s your turn today. I’m going to wake the kids” Louis said and kissed Zayn’s neck softly and the raven haired man turned around and kissed his husbands lips before he sat up, got dressed and walked downstairs.

Louis also got dressed for the day and walked to Liam’s room to wake the boy up. 

“Good morning love. It’s time to get up” he said in a soft tone and shook Liam a little bit.

“Daddy?” a tired voice asked and Louis smiled softly as his son cracked his eyes open and smiled at him tiredly. 

“Go and get dressed. I’m going to wake your brothers and Papa is already downstairs.” 

*

After Liam was awake Louis walked to Niall’s room. He smiled as he saw the kid sleeping peacefully his stuffed panda “Lolo” pressed to his chest.

“Good morning snowflake” he whispered and kissed Niall’s forehead causing the blonde boy to smile in his sleep.

“You need to get up baby” 

“Daddy” Niall mumbled and opened his blue eyes. 

“Morning love. Go and get ready for today okay?” he said and Niall nodded before standing up, taking Lolo with him.

He had gotten the panda on his second birthday and the animal was by his side the whole time. Niall carried him through the house and hated that he had to leave him at home when he went to school but he also knew that he couldn’t risk losing Lolo so he always sat the panda down on the couch and placed the remote right next to it so that Lolo could watch TV during the day.

*

When Louis walked into Harry’s room he instantly smiled because all he could see was a mop of brown curls. He walked closer and saw Harry sleeping peacefully sucking on his thumb and mumbling something in his sleep.

He didn’t understand what he was saying but it looked so adorable. 

“It’s time to get up Hazza bear” he said and ran his hand through Harry’s curls. The boys didn’t stir and so Louis tried again to wake him up.

“Love wake up now. Papa is making pancakes” Louis whispered and Harry slowly opened his emerald green eyes and looked at his daddy. 

“Good morning munchkin” 

“Daddy” Harry mumbled his voice still thick with sleep and rubbed his eyes.

Harry reached his arms up, silently telling Louis to pick him up so he did.

Louis picked Harry up and carried him over to the bathroom where he pulled his pants down and placed Harry on the potty.

“Can you go potty for me babe? I’ll be right back” he said and kissed Harry’s forehead before he walked out to get some clothes for Harry.

When he walked back into the bathroom he saw Harry sitting on his potty, his body leaning on the wall and Harry’s eyes were closed.

“Hazza?!” Louis asked confused and Harry opened his eyes and also looked a little bit confused until he saw his daddy smiling at him softly.

“Why are you so tired today?” the man asked and helped his son to get dressed. Normally Harry always wanted to help but today he just stood there and waited for daddy to be done.

“Come on let’s go downstairs. Maybe you’ll be more awake then” Louis suggested and wanted to grab Harry’s hand but the kid raised his arms up again and so he picked his son up.

The four year old nuzzled his face into Louis’ neck as he carried him downstairs and put his thumb into his mouth.

*

Zayn was sitting at the table with Liam and Niall as Louis walked in with Harry in his arms. He looked at his husband but Louis just shrugged and placed Harry into his seat before he sat down next to Niall.

“Good morning babe” Zayn smiled and kissed Harry before he put a pancake on his plate. Normally the kid loved pancakes but today he just stared at it.

Zayn didn’t think about it too much and cut it for his son and then started to eat his own breakfast.

“Papa we have a game on Sunday” announced Liam and Zayn could tell how excited he was.

“Are we going to watch? Please daddy I want to watch” said Niall and Louis and Zayn both nodded.

“Sure we are going to watch. Your brother has a game so we’ll be there” smiled Zayn and turned his head to look at Harry who held his fork in his hand and stared at the food with disgust.

At first he didn’t see it but then Zayn saw the tears that were running down his son’s face and knew that something wasn’t right.

“Do you feel okay baby?” he asked softly.

“He fell asleep on the potty and he is really tired” said Louis who put his hand on Harry’s forehead.

“He’s not warm.”

“Maybe he’s coming down with something” Zayn assumed and Louis nodded his head.

Zayn picked his youngest son up and placed him on his lap. He rubbed Harry’s back and tried his best to calm him down and when Harry’s cries died down he was nearly falling asleep again.

“I’m going to stay here with him today. I don’t think it’s a good idea to take him to daycare if he’s not alright” suggested the raven haired male and Louis knew that it was the best so he agreed.

“Liam, Niall eat up and then go and brush your teeth. I’m taking you to school today” said Louis and couldn’t help but smile as he looked at Niall who was covered in chocolate sauce and syrup.

*

A few minutes later Harry was asleep in Zayn’s arms while Louis helped Niall and Liam to put their coats and hats on. It was November and it was really cold outside so the kids needed to be warm.

“Have a nice day today boys” said Zayn and hugged his sons with one arm because he was holding Harry with his other arm.

“Bye Papa, bye Harry” Niall said as he walked outside and Louis gave Zayn a kiss before he said:” Call me when you need me. I love you

“Love you too!

After Louis, Liam and Niall had left Zayn carried Harry upstairs and changed him back into his pajamas and tucked him in so that he could sleep for a little while.

Zayn hated to see one of his kids sick because he hated that there was nothing he could do to help. He hated to see his kids cry and he hated to see when they were in pain.

Zayn kissed Harry’s forehead, closed the door and walked downstairs to clean up and to call his boss. He knew that it wouldn’t be a problem but he still had to call Josh and tell him that he wouldn’t be able to come to work today.

Josh understood as always because he also had kids and knew what it was like. 

Zayn spent the day with cleaning the bathroom and doing the washing up before he prepared lunch for Harry and himself.

He made spaghetti but knew that Harry would probably want them without the sauce because that’s how he ate them.

When Zayn walked into Harry’s room the boy was still asleep and Zayn was a little bit worried because Harry didn’t look sick, he didn’t have a temperature and he hadn’t thrown up what was untypical for the boy.

“Harry it’s time to get up now” he whispered and shook Harry awake.

The four year old looked at him with tired eyes and Zayn knew that he wasn’t feeling any better.

“Let’s get you something to eat and then you can go back to sleep, okay?” he suggested but Harry shook his head.

“Not hungwy” he mumbled but Zayn needed him to eat something because he hadn’t eaten anything since last night.

He didn’t care that Harry protested as he picked him up and carried his now crying son downstairs into the kitchen.

“Do you want a banana?” he asked but Harry shook his head again.

“Okay then but you have to drink something” 

The boy didn’t say anything so Zayn got him a glass of apple juice and Harry drank it quietly.

“How do you feel love?” he asked gently after Harry had finished his glass of apple juice.

“Bed papa” the boy said and yawned and Zayn nodded and carried him back upstairs.

*

He texted Louis and told him how Harry was doing and Zayn could tell that the older male was also worried.

Niall was the first one who came home and ran to the couch to grab Lolo before he went to greet his papa.

“How was school buddy?” Zayn asked and Niall smiled at him.

“We had a lot of fun. I read and I didn’t make any mistakes” he said proudly and Zayn kissed his forehead. He knew that Niall was an intelligent kid and it didn’t matter if he needed a little bit longer to learn or not one day he was going to have a perfect and job and one day he was going to read without a problem.

“I’m really proud babe. Now go and do your homework” Zayn said and Niall did what he was told. He grabbed his schoolbag and started doing his homework while his Papa started to make dinner.

Louis and Liam got home two hours later whilst Zayn was reading with Niall.

“Papa I scored a goal. Daddy saw me practicing and he saw me scoring a goal!” yelled Liam proudly and Zayn pulled him into a hug before he kissed Louis softly.

“Harry still asleep?” he asked and Zayn nodded. He had checked on him every few minutes but Harry had been asleep the whole time.

“Is Harry sick daddy?” Niall asked and Louis nodded his head.

“He’s not feeling well today” he said and Niall started to smile.

“I’m going to draw him a picture” the blonde boy said and rushed over to his bag to get some pencils and a piece of paper.

“Liam you should take a shower. You’re sweaty and then you can start with your homework” suggested Louis and Liam nodded before walking into the bathroom.

*

Dinner came around and it was Louis who carried a tired Harry downstairs. Harry’s cheeks were slightly pink and the man could tell that he was coming down with something so he didn’t push Harry to eat a lot but he insisted that the boy ate something because he hadn’t eaten all day.

Harry ate a few spoons of soup and then started complaining that he wasn’t hungry anymore so Louis placed him on his lap and held him while they ate their dinner.

“Niall why don’t you show Harry what you did for him?” asked Zayn as they were finished with eating and the blonde boy nodded and pulled the picture out.

It was a drawing of a teddy bear and underneath he had written: For Harry.

“Ni made this for you” said Louis and brushed some of Harry’s curls out of his face.

“Thanks” the curly haired boy mumbled and even smiled a little bit what made Niall even happier.

“Come on monkey let’s get you back to bed” Louis said and carried Harry upstairs. He made sure that the boy used the potty and then tucked him in.

“Sleep well babe and get better soon” he whispered and kissed Harry’s forehead before he turned the lights off and left the room.

*

“The m..man said t..th..at the we..wea..weath..er was ni..ce” read Niall and his father nodded.

It was hard for the seven year old boy to read something new but both Zayn and Louis knew that he needed to learn and he could only learn with reading something new.

“The man said that the weather was nice” repeated Louis and Niall couldn’t help but yawn because he was really tired.

“I think that was enough for today. Go upstairs and get ready for bed. Papa and I will be up shortly” Louis said and closed the book while Niall walked upstairs.

Zayn was watching TV with Liam when Louis walked in.

“Niall is going to bed. I told him we would come upstairs and say goodnight. I think you should also go to bed now Liam” said Louis.

“Can I read for a little bit? Please?”

“Fine. But only for half an hour and then you’re also going to sleep.”

*

After Zayn and Louis said goodnight to their sons they also went to bed. They were tired because it had been a long day and all they needed right now was a cuddle.

Louis’ head was resting on Zayn’s chest and the younger boy ran his hand through his husbands’ hair.

At the moment they didn’t know that there life would change very soon.

*

Zayn woke up in the middle of the night and felt like something was wrong. Something wasn’t right and so he got up to check on his sons. 

He walked into Niall’s room and found the boy sleeping peacefully in his bed, Lolo right next to him. Liam was also asleep but it looked like he fell asleep while he had been reading because the book was lying on top of his covers.

When Zayn walked into Harry’s room he could barely see anything because it was dark in the room but as he pressed his hand on Harry’s forehead he knew that the kid had a fever.

Zayn turned the light on and shook Harry awake.

“Harry? Harry come on wake up babe” he whispered.

He rolled onto his back and Zayn brushed a few stands of his brown curls out of his face. His forehead is hot against his fingers and his cheeks are bright pink.

“Do you feel okay, Harry?”

“My head hurts. I’m tired Papa” Harry whispered and Zayn nodded.

“I’ll be back soon” the raven haired male said and pulled the covers up to his chin and walked over to his and Louis’ bedroom.

“Louis? Louis?” he whispered and knew that Louis could hear the urgent tone in his voice.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Harry’s got a fever and a headache. Do we have any Tylenol?”

“I think so” Louis said tiredly and got up to look for some medication while Zayn walked back to Harry.

 

The boy was already asleep again and Zayn waited until Louis came before he woke him up again.

Louis handed him the Tylenol and woke the four year old up while Zayn read the instructions twice and took a pill out. Louis brought some water and Harry didn’t look happy as Zayn placed the pill in his hand.

“Take this and then you can go back to sleep” Zayn said softly but Harry was too tired so Louis placed the pill into his mouth and helped Harry to drink some water.

Harry didn’t argue or fight like he normally would when it came to medication and this showed Louis and Zayn that the boy was really sick.

“You can sleep with Daddy and Papa tonight” Louis said and picked the small boy up and carried him to their bedroom not wanting to leave Harry alone right now.

“Let’s try to get some sleep now” Zayn suggested and they both nodded and fell into a restless sleep.

*

When Louis woke up the next morning Harry was sleeping peacefully. He didn’t felt too warm and so Louis decided to let the boy sleep for a little while longer.

He and Zayn woke up Niall and Liam and Louis prepared breakfast while Zayn helped Liam and Niall to get ready for school.

“Where is Harry?” Liam asked as they were eating breakfast and Niall also looked up and realized that his brother wasn’t there.

“He is asleep. He got a fever during the night and we let him sleep” explained Louis and the kids just nodded before they continued to eat their breakfast.

“I’m going to stay at home with Harry today so Papa is driving you to school” Louis said and Niall and Liam nodded excited. 

They continued to eat until Harry shuffled into the room.

“Harry how are you feeling? Are you hungry?” Louis asked.

Harry shook his head and walked towards his daddy. He was still wearing his pajamas as he climbed into Louis’ lap like he always did when he was sick.

Louis stopped eating and rested his chin on Harry’s head and wrapped his arm around him but as his arm tightened around his stomach, Harry cried out and flinched.

The man quickly pulled away and lifted up his shirt revealing angry black and purple bruises all over his stomach and chest. Some of them were smaller but some of them were quite big, the largest one covering most of Harry’s chest.

Louis looked over to Zayn who also stared at the bruises in shock. They both knew that they hadn’t been there the day before and this wasn’t good. They needed to get Harry to a doctor.

“Okay change of plans boys. We are both driving you to school and then Papa and I have to take Harry to the doctor” Louis said and didn’t mention the bruises that his kids luckily hadn’t seen because they had been too busy with eating their breakfast. 

Zayn was trying really hard to fight against the tears but there wasn’t anything that he could do about them.

“I’m going to get ready” Zayn mumbled and got up not caring about his food that was still on the plate. He wasn’t hungry anymore. 

Louis looked after his husband and knew that Zayn was crying. 

“Boys go and get ready for school and then you can watch TV for a little while” he said to his sons who quickly ran to the bathroom to brush their teeth because they loved to watch TV in the morning. 

“Come on bug let’s go to Papa” Louis said to Harry, who had nuzzled his face into Louis’s neck and was sucking his thumb.

As Louis and Harry walked into the bedroom Zayn was sitting on the bed crying softly.

He didn’t look up as his husband walked into the room but he did look up as two little hands were placed on his knee.

Harry was standing in front of him looking at him with big, green eyes and Zayn smiled at him weakly.

“Daddy sad?” Harry asked innocently and didn’t know what was going on.

“I’m okay baby. Don’t worry about me” the raven haired male said and picked Harry up. 

He exchanged a few glances with Louis silently telling him that he was okay and then went to get Harry dressed.

Zayn wanted to vomit as he saw the bruises on his sons’ body but tried his best to stay calm because he didn’t want to scare his son.

After Harry was changed they walked downstairs. Louis, Niall and Liam were already waiting for them and after they put their jackets on they left the house.

*

“Have a good day boys” Louis and Zayn smiled at their sons as they arrived at the school.

“Bye Daddy, bye Papa, bye Hazza” they waved before the closed the door and the car drove away.

Louis and Zayn had decided to take Harry to the hospital instead of going to a doctor because something was clearly wrong with their son and they needed to make sure that he was okay.

A few minutes later they were sitting in the waiting room. Everything was white and smelled like disinfectant. Louis was talking to the receptionist to sign them in while Zayn held Harry on his lap. He was wearing blue jeans and a black shirt that matched with his black converse. 

Harry leaned his head into Zayn’s chest and watched TV tiredly. Toy Story 2 was playing on the little TV and Zayn knew that Liam would love to watch the movie because it was his favourite.

“Tominson?” a pretty young nurse said from the doorway and Zayn and Louis walked over to her. Zayn carried Harry to the examination room. He wrapped his around his Papa’s neck and rested his chin on his shoulder. The room was small with a table and a few chairs. There was a poster of a kitten and Harry looked at it tiredly as Zayn pointed at it.

“I’m tired Papa” Harry mumbled while Louis ran his hand up and down the boy’s leg.

“Just stay awake for a little while longer. We can watch movies as soon as we get home” Louis promised and Harry nodded, still not happy about the fact that he had to stay awake.

A female doctor came in a few minutes later. She was smiling at the boy in Zayn’s lap and shook Louis’ and Zayn’s hand before introducing herself.

“I’m Dr. Williams and I guess that you are Harry?” she said with a smile and looked at Harry who hid his face into Zayn’s neck.

“Harry say hi please” Louis said and the small boy looked at the blonde lady and waved at her with a small smile on his face.

“Hi Harry. How are you feeling?” she said and Harry yawned in response. “What are his symptoms?” 

“He is really tired. He nearly slept the whole day yesterday, fever, he’s not hungry at all and he got these bruises on his stomach” Louis explained while Zayn lifted Harry’s shirt up to show Doctor Williams the bruises.

She looked at them and wrote something on her notepad but didn’t say anything.

“What is it?” Louis asked a little bit panicked. “Do you know what it is?”

“It could be a lot of things right now. We have to take a blood sample to be sure” the woman said and walked over to the cabinet. She got a needle and a syringe out and Harry didn’t even flinch which was new to Louis and Zayn because normally whenever a needle was near to Harry he would start to cry and scream but not today.

“You are a brave boy” Dr. Williams said and ruffled Harry’s hair.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes with the results” she said and left the room.

Louis knew that there was something that she was worried about but she didn’t tell him even though he wished she would. 

Zayn tried to keep Harry awake but the kid fell asleep against him and he didn’t want to wake Harry up again. 

“Let him sleep” Louis murmured and Zayn nodded. 

“What do you think it is?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m scared” Zayn said and smiled sadly as his husband as he wrapped his around his shoulder and kissed his temple.

“We’ll figure everything out” Louis promised and Zayn knew that Louis was right. 

 

*

“Leukemia”

Zayn and Louis both started crying as soon as they heard what was wrong with their son. It wasn’t just a fever or a cold no it was cancer. Their son had cancer. Their beautiful, four year old son had cancer. Harry was too young to be this sick. Harry didn’t deserve to be this sick.

“You have to be wrong” Louis whispered and choked back a sob but Dr. Williams shook her head slowly and placed her hand on Louis knee trying to comfort him.

“Believe me I wish I was but I’m not. Harry has cancer” she said softly and it was Zayn who looked at her and asked the one question they were all thinking about.

“Is he going to survive?”

“Harry needs chemotherapy and a lot of medication. He’s going to be very weak and very sick for a long time but his chances are good. It’s going to be a long and hard journey but he can live” 

“When do we start?” 

“As soon as we can. I’d like to keep him here so that we can start the treatment tomorrow” Dr. Williams said and Zayn and Louis both agreed.

“Can we stay with him?”

“We have a few family rooms where one parents is allowed to be with his kid so one of you can stay with him. You can visit him all day and during the night only one of you is allowed to be there. You can change for sure” she explained and both Louis and Zayn didn’t need to discuss this. They were going to stay by Harry’s side.

*

A little while later Harry was lying in a hospital bed looking even smaller than he was. He looked around confused and Zayn and Louis didn’t know how to explain everything to him.

“Wanna go home” Harry mumbled while Zayn brushed his curls out of his face.

“I know babe but you have to stay here for a little while” the younger man said and felt horrible as Harry started to cry.

“I don’t want to Papa” he cried weakly and Zayn pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

“I know babe but Daddy or Papa are always going to be here. You won’t be alone but the doctors have to make you get better”

“Promise?” the four year old boy asked and yawned before he closed his eyes.

“I promise” Zayn whispered and knew that the following weeks were going to be really hard.

*

“I’m not going to leave him” Louis half whispered half yelled as Zayn asked him to come with him.

“Louis please I can’t do this by myself. What am I supposed to tell the kids? I can’t tell them without you. He’s sleeping and you can come back as soon as we told the boys but I can’t do this by myself” Zayn argued.

They had decided that Louis was going to spend the night with Harry while Zayn took care of Liam and Niall but the raven haired male wasn’t ready to tell his sons about Harry’s illness all by himself.

“Fine okay I’ll come with you but I need to tell Harry first because I don’t want him to wake up here without knowing where we are!”

“Haz? Hazza babe can you wake up for Daddy?” Louis whispered and shook his son a little bit causing the small boy to slowly crack his eyes open.

“Daddy?” Harry asked tiredly and Louis and Zayn smiled sadly at him.

“Daddy and Papa need to leave for a little while. I’ll be back soon love, I promise. Try to get some more sleep and I’ll be back when you wake up, okay?” Louis asked and felt like he was about to cry as Harry didn’t argue.

Normally the boy hated to be left alone but seeing Harry like this made the man realize that his son was really sick and that he wasn’t the same kid he used to be a few months ago.

Harry fell asleep again as soon as Louis and Zayn left his room and walked to their car to pick Niall and Liam up from school.

*

“Papa I drew a picture for you today” smiled Niall as he got into the car.

“I scored a goal in practice again” said Liam happily and Zayn felt horrible. He knew that the diagnosis had already destroyed Harry’s and their lives but Liam and Niall had no idea about what was going on yet but he knew that they were also going to destroy them. 

He knew that the kids would be really upset and scared and shocked and he didn’t want to see his kids like that but they had no chance. The boys had a right to know about their brother’s illness and they wouldn’t hide it from them because this was impossible.

“Where is Harry?” asked Liam as he realized that his youngest brother wasn’t sitting in the car like he normally did.

Louis and Zayn exchanged a look and no one knew what to say. They wanted to wait until they were at home but right now they also needed to say something.

“Your brother is in hospital right now but we are going to explain everything once we get home” said Louis but Liam or Niall were too worried now.

“Hospital? Why? What’s wrong?”

“Papa why is Harry there?”

“Daddy what’s wrong?”

Zayn sighed in relief as they arrived at their house because he couldn’t listen to the questions any longer. Liam and Niall were already upset and the raven haired man had no idea about how to explain something like that to kids.

“Boys go and sit down in the living room” Louis told the kids and Niall and Liam did what they were told.

They were really scared because their daddies never acted like this. Liam had seen the tears in their eyes and already knew that something wasn’t right at all. Niall was wiggling with his legs and the ten year old boy put his hand on Niall’s knee to calm the blonde boy down. He grabbed Lolo, his stuffed panda and handed it to Niall who quickly pressed it against his chest and ran his fingers through Lolo’s fur.

Louis and Zayn walked into the room a few seconds later, their finger entwined with each other and sat down on the couch across from Niall and Liam.

“Your brother is really sick. He has cancer. It’s a terrible disease and he needs a lot of treatment right now and that’s why he has to stay in hospital” explained Zayn slowly and had to fight the tears.

Niall and Liam just looked at their fathers and didn’t know what to say. What did this mean?

“Is..Is he going to be okay?” Niall whispered and started to cry. 

“Come here babe” Louis said and opened his arms for Niall who quickly ran over to him and crawled into his lap and Liam walked over to his Papa Zayn to get some comfort.

“We don’t know yet but the doctors do what they can. We all have to be strong now snowflake”

*

Niall and Liam both went to their rooms after a few minutes of crying and Zayn and Louis knew that they were torn up even though they didn’t fully understand what was going on.

Louis had gone to pack some stuff for Harry while Zayn went to their bedroom and was alone for the first time today. He finally could cry and let go of his feelings. 

Words couldn’t describe what was going on inside his head. He was scared, afraid, terrified because what if Harry didn’t survive? He didn’t want to think about it but he couldn’t help it. He imagined staying at a graveyard looking at the grave of his four year old son and Zayn knew that there was nothing he could he. He couldn’t help Harry to get through this and he doubted that there was anything that Harry could do.

He was only four years old he didn’t understand. It was up to Harry’s body. Zayn knew that they would try everything to get through this but seeing his son so sick made him feel bad. He would do anything to take Harry’s pain away but all he could do was watching and praying. 

Watching his son suffer and praying that he was going to be alright.

Zayn lay in bed facing the wall and cried. He didn’t want to see Louis’s face when he came in.

“We’ll be okay” Louis whispered and brushed his hip and Zayn turned over to face him.

Louis wasn’t crying but he also looked as bad as he did.

“What if…?” Zayn started but his husband stopped him and put his finger on his lips.

“Don’t. Just don’t say it. We have to be strong now. Harry is so strong and he’ll get through this. We’ll be okay.”

Zayn pressed his lips on Louis’ and kissed him softly until the pain in his chest went away and when he pulled away Louis smiled at him sadly.

“I have to go now. I promised Harry to be back soon”

“I know. You can always call me and give Harry a kiss from Papa” the raven haired man said and Louis nodded.

*

Liam was sitting in his room reading a book as someone knocked on his door. As he looked up he saw Niall walking on holding Lolo close to his chest.

The blonde boy was crying silently and Liam quickly closed his book and motioned Niall to come over.

“What’s wrong babe?” he asked softly as Niall climbed on his bed.

“I miss Harry” the blonde boy cried and Liam wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.

He hated this. He knew what cancer was because he had overheard a conversation between two of his teacher and one of them had said that her mother had died because of it.

“I miss him too” Liam whispered and tried his best to be strong. He knew that his parents needed him right now. They needed him to be strong because they had a lot to deal with and now he had to take care of his little brother as good as he could.

“Do you think that I should give Lolo to Harry? He needs it more right now and Lolo is going to protect him.”

“That’s a lovely idea.”

*

“Okay boys I want you to be nice and Papa is going to take care of you tonight. You can call me whenever you need anything” Louis said to his sons who were standing in the hallway looking at their father with big eyes while Zayn was standing behind them.

“Can you give Harry a hug from me?” Liam asked and his daddy nodded and smiled at him.

“Can you give this to Harry?” Niall asked and handed Lolo to his daddy.

“You want me to give Lolo to Harry? Niall are you sure?” 

“Yes. He needs it right now and Lolo is going to protect him. He can give it back to me when he doesn’t need it anymore” said the seven year old boy and went over to hug his dad who was nearly crying.

“I love you all so much!” Louis said and then walked out of the house and drove to the hospital.

*

When Louis walked into the hospital room of his son he saw the four year old boy sitting in bed staring at the plate of food in front of him.

Harry’s eyes lit up as he saw his Daddy and Louis sat down next to him, pulling him in a hug.

“Look what I got for you” he smiled and pulled Lolo out of his bed handing it to Harry who took the panda and pressed it close to his chest.

“That’s Niall’s” he said and Louis just nodded.

“He wanted you to have it. They all told me to tell me that they love you!” Louis told his son and ran his fingers through Harry’s curls. “Now let’s eat something.”

He grabbed the fork and started to feed Harry with whatever that was but the boy wasn’t hungry at all. Louis managed to get him to eat a little bit until Harry complained that he wasn’t hungry anymore and that he was tired.

“It’s okay. Go to sleep baby. I’ll be here when you wake up” he promised and Harry closed his eyes and fell back asleep within a matter of seconds.

*

Zayn was lying in his bed thinking about Louis and Harry who were in hospital right now. He missed his husband next to him and he missed his little sunshine a lot. He just wanted to have his kids running around the house laughing and smiling and Louis next to him.

It was late but he couldn’t sleep and then his door opened and someone walked in.

“Papa?” a small voice asked and he knew that it was Niall who was standing in the doorway.

“What’s wrong Nialler?” he asked and the blonde boy just ran over to him and crawled into the bed and clung to him.

“I can’t sleep” Niall mumbled and Zayn knew that the boy needed comfort right now so he ran his hand up and down Niall’s spine and hummed softly.

It didn’t take long until the door opened again and Liam walked into the room. It was dark but Zayn could hear him sniffling and knew that he was crying.

He moved a little bit so that they all had enough space in the bed and continued to hum. Niall had fallen asleep but Liam was still wide awake.

“I’m scared Papa” he whispered and Zayn kissed the top of Liam’s head before he answered.

“We all are babe. We should try to get some sleep now.”

*

The next day was hard for all of them. Zayn got Niall and Liam ready in the morning and drove them to school before he drove to the hospital. 

Louis was already up and tried to get Harry to eat but the kid wasn’t hungry and so he gave up. Once Zayn arrived he kissed his husband and his son goodbye and drove to work.

They both had managed to work every second day from now so that they could spend one day at the hospital and the next day at work and at home with Niall and Liam.

It wasn’t easy at all but it was the only way. A nurse took Harry to his first treatment and Zayn prayed to god that things were going to be alright.

Once Harry was back in his room Zayn fussed over him making sure that he was alright.

“Are you okay? Are you hungry? How’s the pain?” he asked but Harry barely said anything. He was worn out and wanted to sleep so Zayn let him sleep.

“He’s going to be very weak from now because chemotherapy is hard and he’s very young so don’t be sad when he’s not responding. He just needs rest” the nurse explained and Zayn knew that she was right.

Harry had been through his first treatment of chemotherapy so of course he was tired.

Zayn smiled when Harry woke up in the afternoon and looked at his Papa with a smile on his face.

“Hey babe how are you feeling?”

“Alright. Story?” Harry asked and Zayn nodded. Louis had put some books into Harry’s bag so he pulled one out and sat down next to Harry who was holding Lolo in his hands.

He read for a long time and smiled as he saw that Harry was still awake after he had finished the story.

Zayn didn’t know if Harry knew what was going on or not. He didn’t know if the boy knew how sick he was and tried to fake a smile or if he had no idea. 

Harry and Zayn started to draw a picture and Zayn couldn’t be happier. For a moment he forgot where he was and why he was here. Harry was smiling and giggling and Zayn was happy that his son was smiling.

*

The next days passed just like that. Louis and Zayn barely saw each other. They only saw each other in the morning when one of them arrived at the hospital while the other one went to work.

Niall and Liam knew that their little brother was sick but they also needed their dads but they were always so busy or really tired.

One of them would make breakfast and drive them to school and the other one picked them up and prepared dinner. 

It all went downhill on Sunday. Zayn had been the one who was at home and he prepared breakfast and woke his sons up and then got ready himself to spend the day with Harry at the hospital.

“I’m leaving now. Daddy is going to be here in less than an hour so don’t do anything stupid. I’ll see you boys tomorrow” Zayn said and kissed his sons goodbye before leaving.

As soon as Niall and Liam where alone Liam started to cry. His Papa had forgotten about his soccer game. He had been so excited about it and they had promised to be there to watch him and now only Niall and Daddy were coming with him.

When Louis got home he was tired. He had been up all night at the hospital because Harry had been sick and in a lot of pain. He had cried most of the time and Louis was exhausted.

He honestly just wanted to go to sleep.

He found Liam crying in the living room and quickly walked over to him asking him what was wrong.

“Papa..he forgot about it” the boy sobbed and Louis pulled him close to his chest and let him cry.

“He forgot about what?” 

“My soccer game!” the ten year old yelled and cried even harder because his daddy had also forgotten about his play.

Louis’ eyes widened in shock. The game. How could he forget about the game? Liam had been talking about it the whole week.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean to. Now get ready because we have to leave now” Louis said and felt really bad. He knew that Niall and Liam where a little bit left behind now because of Harry and it made him feel guilty.

*

Over the next few weeks Harry got worse. The medication had taken its toll on him leaving him feel tired most of the time.

His hair had started to fall out and the small boy had cried over hours because of it. His beautiful brown curls were gone leaving him with nothing. Harry had lost a lot of weight because he wasn’t hungry and whenever he ate something he threw up afterwards. 

The boy looked so small and vulnerable that it scared his fathers. 

It was December now and Niall and Liam hadn’t seen their brother in weeks and so Zayn had promised them to take them to Harry. He didn’t know if it was a good idea or not but the kids had a right to see their brother and so they drove to the hospital on a Saturday afternoon.

“Hello Zayn” Amy, one of the nurses smiled at him and Zayn smiled back at her. He knew the whole staff already.

“Boys before we go in there I want you to know that Harry is really sick and he looks different now. Don’t be mean or stare at him, okay?” 

Niall took Liam’s hand because he was scared as they walked into the room.

Louis was sitting next to Harry who looked horrible. The boy was thin, had dark circles underneath his eyes and was hooked up to an IV. His hair was completely gone and Niall wondered if this really was his brother.

“Ni! Li!” Harry croaked and smiled at the two boys who were standing there staring at him.

“Hey Haz” Liam smiled softly and walked closer to his brother’s bed.

“I missed you.”

They spent the next few hours drawing and playing a little bit until Harry passed out from exhaustion and Zayn, Niall and Liam left again.

As soon as they got home Niall and Liam broke down and cried for hours because their brother looked so broken and vulnerable.

Zayn tried his best to comfort them but he also ended up crying and that’s how they spent the rest of day. Crying in each other’s arms.

*

Normally Louis loved December. He loved baking with his kids and decorating the house but this year things were different. He spent most of his time at the hospital with Harry and when he was at home he needed to help Niall with his reading problem because he had gotten a call from school letting him know that Niall had a lot of problems with reading again and Louis knew that it was their fault.

“Boys I think you should write a letter to Santa” Louis announced one night and both boys quickly agreed and sat down before they started to write.

Louis hadn’t thought about Christmas yet because how were they supposed to celebrate? 

After Niall and Liam were finished they put their letters down on the windowsill.

Later that night when Niall and Liam were asleep Louis took the letters and sat down to read them.

 

Dear Santa,

I don’t want you to get me something this year. Please just make my little brother healthy again. I want him to be home with me and my brother and I want my parents to be home as well. I want them to smile again and to spend time with us so please make my wish come true.

Yours Liam

 

Louis couldn’t help but cry as he read this letter. He knew that Liam missed them because they barely spend time together and he knew that this needed to chance.

 

Santa,

Make Daddy and Papa smile again and bring Hazza home. He’s sick but I don’t like this.

Niall

 

Louis cried even harder after reading Niall’s letter. Both boys whished for Harry to be home and they didn’t know what the other one had been writing. 

This night he prayed to god and wished for his son to be home soon.

*

Christmas rolled around and both Louis and Zayn had to face the fact that the chemotherapy hadn’t been working. The doctors told them that they would try again but no one really believed that Harry would survive.

“We can try for a little while longer but if the chemo doesn’t work there is nothing we can do. The cancer is still growing so we may come to a point where we can’t do anything” said Dr. Williams one morning as Zayn walked into the hospital with his husband.

They had managed to get Jay, Louis’ mother, to come and look after Niall and Liam while they both wanted to spend all their time with their little son.

Harry didn’t look like Harry anymore. He was there, buried within the broken skeleton connected to machines with tubes snaking everywhere. He had a mask over his mouth and nose that helped the small boy to breathe and he barely opened his eyes anymore. Zayn tried to read to his son but ended up just holding his hand while Louis read a little bit. They were crying a lot now slowly beginning to realize that their son was probably going to die.

*

When Louis and Zayn got home this evening Jay was sitting in the living room watching TV with Liam while Niall was coloring. 

The woman got up and walked over to her son and his husband and without saying anything she wrapped her arms around them and let them cry. 

Louis cried and cried until someone tugged on his leg and as he looked down he saw Niall standing there and handing him a picture.

“Thanks love” he said through tears and looked at what Niall had drawn.

There was Zayn and Louis in the middle, Liam next to Louis and Niall holding Zayn’s hand. And then there was a cloud and someone was sitting on it and Niall had written: Harry underneath the cloud and that was when Louis realized that this might be them soon.

Jay spent the night at the hospital with Harry while Louis and Zayn both needed to get some sleep and they also needed to be there for his sons.

*

On Christmas Eve they all decided to visit Harry at the hospital. The kid was out of it but they couldn’t celebrate Christmas without him.

Niall and Liam who hadn’t seen their brother in a long time started crying and instead of unpacking their presents they held Harry’s hands and the whole family prayed to god that Harry was going to be alright.

“We can celebrate Christmas when Harry is better” Liam said and they all agreed. When Harry was fine again they would do everything. They had promised the kids to go to Disney land and Louis and Zayn longed for a holiday at a beach.

Days turned into weeks and every time the nurse placed Harry in a wheelchair and wheeled him to therapy it looked like he had gotten thinner and smaller. 

Louis and Zayn were slowly starting to lose it but kept it together for the sake of their sons.

*

It happened one day in the middle of January. Harry hadn’t been awake in days and they all missed their little boy. They missed his smile, his eyes and just him. 

“It’s working. The treatment is working. The cancer is getting smaller” Dr. Williams yelled as she burst into the room one rainy afternoon and Louis, who had been sitting at Harry’s side, just stared at her not realizing what she had just told him.

“Louis Harry is getting better. He’s going to be alright” Dr. Williams said again and that was when Louis understood what was going on. He got up and ran over to her, pulling her into a hug.

“Thank you! Thank you so much!” he said through tears of happiness that were rolling down his cheeks.

“It’s going to be a long way for him to finally get better but he’ll get better.”

Louis kissed her on the cheek before he ran out of the room and drove to Zayn, who was at work.

He ran inside the building tears blurring his view and burst into Zayn’s office not caring about the people who were sitting there.

“Louis what’s wrong?” the man asked panicked already expecting the worst but then he heard the most beautiful sentence since Louis had said “I will” a few years ago.

“It’s working. The therapy is working. Harry is getting better” Louis cried and the couple cried and cried for what seemed like forever until they drove to school and picked their sons up telling them what was going on.

This night they all sat in the hospital room next to Harry’s bed but instead of being afraid that this might be the last time to see the boy alive they all thanked God.

*

It started with Harry waking up and then it slowly got better from day to day. Harry was able to stay awake for a few hours, he gained some weight because he didn’t feel sick anymore and he could keep some food down.

 

He looked healthier than he had in a long time and he was talking and smiling and laughing and made everyone really happy.

Seven months after Harry had been diagnosed with cancer, after they all had been through hell and back Harry was allowed to leave the hospital. 

He was officially cured and had won against cancer. His hair was growing again and Louis knew that his curls would be back soon.

*

As Louis, Zayn, Niall and Liam walked into Harry’s room one Sunday morning they found the small boy sitting in his bed eating his breakfast happily whilst holding Lolo.

The stuffed panda had been by his side all of the time and he loved it.

“Good morning babe” Louis smiled and kissed his son who smiled at him.

“Morning” he replied and hugged his brothers before he also placed a wet kiss on Zany’s cheek.

“Are you ready to go home?” Zayn asked and Harry nodded excited. He pushed the blanket away and tried to get out of bed but his Papa had to help him.

The boy was still weak from lying in hospital for such a long time so they had to carry him. 

Zayn helped Harry to get dressed and placed the boy on his hip while Louis took his bag and they all walked out of the room.

“Bye Amy” Harry waved at the nurse who was really happy that the boy was allowed to leave again but she would also miss the cheeky, little boy a lot.

“Thank you Niall” Harry said when they got home and handed Lolo back to his brother who shook his head and refused to take the stuffed panda.

“It’s yours now. Lolo is going to make sure that you are okay.” The blonde boy replied and wrapped his arms around the younger boy.

This day they all slept in the same bed, cuddling with each other and thanking God that Harry was alright.


End file.
